K1 Speed is sadly headed to the pits again after their best performance of the season. It was like if Lance Stroll got P13 in a race. It’s really good for him that it happened, but it doesn’t change anything. It was a weird Love week, because he was running excellently, but then after the game described basically giving up on the day due to his body feeling off. I hope bro gets his body feeling good more often because he can really run. Better news was Drake “Baby Tommy” Maye was back into the fantasy good books this week despite a few sloppy plays. Maybe his rushing upside can keep him fantasy relevant enough. Next up on the schedule is a WFT team who is somewhat beatable but it’s looking like we could see 0-5 for Joe and company in 2026.

The trend of scoring going up came crashing down to the team’s first sub 100 point scoring outing of the season. And losing to the Dikes hurts even more. Shipley was started and somehow he worked out and yet this team was still 20 points from everyone else not named the Skunks this week. You have to wonder what the boys consider doing in the move market now that some picks are tradable. I don’t know what the trade was, but I heard co-owner Nick vetoed a trade that was going to happen last week. Trouble in paradise? This team seems destined for the toilet bowl.

I can’t catch a break. I had a triple whammy of players get knocked out of their matchups, but luckily they all seem somewhat ok. I was already thin at RB but now it’s really barebones. Bill will have to start for me this week. Ceedee was a beast, but it wasn’t enough to get the dub. Now I face GIRTH who is no slouch. The Pirates have had a rough go of it so far, but I still believe in my team. Sweeping the divisional back to back vs WFT is now the only way to have a chance to win the division, but that seems unlikely. The Pirates best case scenario seems to be the at large top 4 seed.

The Skunks had a terrible week but they already had 2 wins, which puts them ahead of teams like Bona Vista, Parma, and even Bridge Road in the standings. The difference between the wins and losses has so far been if Puka plays. If Puka misses the game, Stafford and Adams take over. Maybe this team will have to guarantee Puka misses more games. Could they bait Puka into biting them and getting sent back to rehab? Jettas coming back should raise the floor a bit, but seeing them under 100 was kinda sad this week. I still feel like this team will be involved in the playoff race for a while.

The Orcas put up a hell of a fight in the match with the back to back champions, falling short by only 2. It doesn’t get any easier this week as the week 5 jack-off has finally arrived. Elias can only watch as the two Jacks go at it. Bowers is such a floor raiser. This was the first week where I really saw a path for the Jeanty Bowers experience to be a great fit, with Jeanty getting going off of crafty play calling in between Brock targets. If they keep losing, they’ll probably be the best toilet bowl team ever. Something tells me they will be a factor going to the end of the season though. Call me crazy, but I just can’t count out the massive whales that reside on bridge road.

Now this team has come alive folks. Shaheed finally got rolling in the Seattle offense, Olave remained consistent, and Higgins exploded but then partially exploded physically. It would be a concern if Higgins misses, but there’s some flex depth here. I still don’t like the RBs here at all. I still think this team will need a trade to be the best versions of themselves. But now clearly a step ahead of the Pirates and Orcas, this team is starting to feel more like a WFT team you know and love, just a banged up version of them.

The Dikes just made a huge statement by dropping 148 points in a week. They can give anyone in the league a run for their money on the right week. Kyren was massive, Brian Robinson was electric even without return yards, and Dike finally had the type of day you’d expect from him. The Saints defense even took away 6 points that the Dikes would have scored by going negative. This was a monster week and it puts them right back in the divisional conversation and at 2-2, right on the edge of being a playoff team currently. Now comes the anticipated matchup vs the Sharks where I’m being told the loser will have to kiss Jon “Weiner” Thompson on the tip of his penis. These next three weeks are decently winnable, and if they can stay over .500 through them, I think we could be in for back to back playoff appearances for this team. Dikes bounce back big.

The Slimes have been limited the last two weeks, and that’s really thanks to Jalen Hurts scoring 30 points across the last two weeks. Then this sicko Sam trades for Jalen Hurts in another league too. His entire happiness is hinging on this man at this point, I really worry for his mental health. The Slimes were better than last week overall, but still a good step behind where the top teams were this week. The good news was Nabers really looked dominant this week. He hooped, then left the game and came back and hooped more, it was like a Puka masterclass. The bench is very interesting here as well. The Slimes have to figure out some things, but at 2-2 they’re still on the better half of the league, and I am betting they get this thing moving positively again.

Now here’s a team that got a win when they needed it. If it wasn’t for Jackson, Truly would probably be a top 3 lock this week. But Jackson does exist, and Truly has been a step behind him all season. That’s kind of a bad way to start a write up for a top 4 team, so let me start over. The recipe is simple here, as long as you have Josh Allen and Puka active, you have a chance to win any week because those guys are such monsters. Allen will look to bounce back after a couple meh weeks. Who this team turns to in the flex spots could determine this week, which is a match vs the Pirates who badly need a win. The matchups are looking great for GIRTH this week, so I do expect them to win again (sadly for me). This team should have no problems locking up a playoff spot, but they lack the consistency for me to move them up a tier yet.

This team keeps delivering week after week. Zach just knows how to build a ball club that has a chance to win games, and he’s won them all so far. Typically a 4-0 team would be a damn lock for top two in the rankings, but the top three teams all have their own claim to why they could be considered the best. The only reason I give the Sharks a fin down vs the other top three teams is the remaining schedule is pretty tough. None of these top three squads have played each other, but the Sharks also haven’t seen GIRTH or the Slimes, and I think the remaining divisional matches will be closer than some could expect. But when you keep topping yourself (pause) every week, your bench keeps outscoring entire starting lineups, and you haven’t lost, you’re pretty much the best #3 in power rankings history. This week they face the Dikes in a battle between two guys who went back in forth in the group chat. They’re saying the loser will have to buy Jon “Weiner” Thompson a new c*ck ring and help put it on.

Nathan and Sacks in the City deliver another classic performance in what can only be described as the craziest run in Super League history. The fact that this team is so dominant again is mind boggling. Bijan is just looking that damn good. You could definitely see an issue if Lamar can’t play in week 5, but that’s a discussion for the next week. What this team has done the last few seasons is just unbelievable. The champ deserved his flowers. It could get even scarier if he decided to use his extra picks he acquired for the 2027 draft to pick up players. This isn’t related to the team but I love the return yards change this season and it was a really creative suggestion from Nathan. Dude just gets it.

Who else could it possibly be? This team is putting together one of the most dominant scoring seasons in the history of the league so far. They’re literally on pace to break the all time scoring record by a team in a season, set in 2021 by Justin Lacertosa who was the original team owner of this very franchise. Back then, there were only 8 teams and each team had 2 quarterbacks. This team has been the top scorer in 3/4 weeks and hasn’t dipped below the 160s once. This could easily be the team of destiny this season and the year could be over. But K9 being this good seems like it has strings attached to it, surely he will have to slow down or miss time eventually. This week is a good emulation of that actually, with him on BYE. The week 5 Jack Off has a lot on the line for the Orcas, but it’s just another chance to grow the lead for the For(th)kys. Unbelievable start for a team that no one thought could dominate in this way.