It's only been a few days since the balls dropped, but a lot has shifted quickly. The opening of the 2025 season may be the most competitive we've ever seen in the league, with 11/12 teams making interesting moves to start the season. We've had massive trades, teams acquiring picks, keepers changing hands, and new co-owners joining in. This is the first real power rankings of the season.

Note: this might be the last power rankings until week two.

1. Bona Vista Beer Wolves

The Beer Wolves are cruising right now. They have acquired one of the largest draft pick hauls in league history, with eight picks in the top four rounds. This exceeds the Penguins' draft haul from two years ago, which led them to an unbeaten 16-0 campaign. Rival executives have been chattering in jealousy over the moves, with some being angry that the Beer Wolves are in such a good position, and one manager even going as far as to claim that Noah is having unscrupulous relations with a young dog. There's reason to be jealous, as the Beer Wolves have positioned themselves to become the first team to win multiple championships in league history. The only real weak points you can say at this point are the keepers, which were surprisingly not upgraded despite loads of cheap talent being available, and the spotty draft history of this franchise in the past. Their pick abundance should even out any bad selections, as they have the most bites at the apple at the top of the draft.

2. Slat's Slimes

The Slimes had an exceptional Thursday night, as they claimed the top selection in the 2025 draft when the balls fell their way. They then immediately traded for Amon Ra St Brown at exceptional value. While the Slimes don't have the picks of the Beer Wolves, or even GIRTH, they do still have a top-three collection in the 2025 draft, including that coveted first pick. The Slimes will surely select Jeanty, who looks to be a keeper from day one. The Slimes will have some divisional competition with GIRTH also looking much improved, but I now project them to finish in the top three when it's all said and done. 

3. GIRTH

This team's outlook has changed dramatically since last season, with both the keeper and the current pick situations turning to GIRTH's favor. GIRTH is the only team with two lottery picks, including the second overall pick. They will likely land one keeper-level player in that round, and have 2.07, 3.02, 3.09, 4.01, and 4.11 to complement. In my opinion, GIRTH is the best-positioned team to take a run at the Beer Wolves, but it does seem that there are conservative ideas in the front office when it comes to trading more 2026 pick capital. In a conversation with Mr. Murphy, he said, "I am not a contender this year". Well, I disagree. I believe GIRTH will be in the mix for a divisional title and BYE this season, provided they can utilize those draft picks.

4. The Bridge Road Orcas

With Eli joining the front office, I had to ask the Orcas their mindset coming into the season:

Three teams in the division now have a second owner, how do you envision having an extra owner helping the Orcas?

I think this will work very well. As part of my settlement with my employees for my sexual harassment lawsuit, I am bringing on an HR manager, that's Elias. With the employees and players freshly undiddled, we will be unstoppable. We will also be using our extra manpower or look into ties between Noah and Nick O'Reilly and Boko Haram and the Akatsuki-

-Jack

You're coming in as a complete wildcard to the rest of the league. How would you describe your fantasy football skills?

As a wildcard is exactly how I'd liked to be viewed. Last year was my first year playing, but I believe I brought a fresh perspective to the game, which allowed me to find routes to success others might not have seen. That, in tandem with creating what was voted to be the safest work environment in the league, which, as my colleague mentioned, is a large part of why I've been brought on by the organization.

-Elias

Thanks to the Orcas boys for offering their opinions. It's clearly a cultural shift for the franchise, as it appears that diddling was a big part of the team. The one-time champions had been slowly declining since winning the title, and it seemed that Jack had little to no interest in making trades at times, starting most seasons with a default pick slate. That's what they have today, but it could be viewed as an advantage in this draft, as a majority of the field is starting below the stock set. If creative solutions are what Eli is offering here, this could be the beginning of a special partnership. This season will not be without its challenges, though. Namely, an aging CMC, the toughest division in the league, and their biggest rival having a stacked team yet again. I think, despite all this, the Orcas will be in position to make the playoffs in back-to-back years.

5. Sacks in the City

The defending champs have had an interesting offseason, picking up Lamar Jackson and trading long-time keeper Kyren Williams. It seems that the Sacks have another move to make, with four players on the roster that would be considered keeper level at the moment. One thing this team has proven is that they find a way to win, and they can make great choices in the draft. They have made the playoffs both seasons in the league, and I can't see them on the outside this season, given the keeper talent on board. For now, I think the Sacks project to be middle of the pack in the toughest division.

6. Zark's Sharks

The Sharks are coming off back-to-back scoring titles, but sadly, no hardware to show for it. The Sharks have not quite made the leap they made last offseason, when they navigated their way into full draft capital after starting with little, but they have made up some ground. Trading James Conner for value was a massive move that will give them extra juice, but it remains to be seen how they will manage to fill in the rest of their team with a higher concentration of late-round picks. One thing they have going for them is positional advantage. They appear to be the only team keeping a QB and a TE, and top selections of each. The Sharks are amongst the sharpest front offices in the league, so I think they deserve some faith here, but I think the team will face some difficult decisions after two great seasons. There's also a factor that the division looks pretty weak this year, so the Sharks could feast on those easy games to boost their chances.

7. Shit Eating Skunks

It has been the most active stretch in team history already, with the team making their first pick trades, and adding a second owner in Stratton, which I think is a massive sign of progress in the organization. For those who have not played fantasy with Stratton before, he is a very respectable manager who does not often lose trades. I think this addition raises both the ceiling and floor of the Skunks, who now appear to be in the playoff mix. They picked up Chase Brown and Kyren Williams in trades, which puts MHJ on the hot seat for the Pittsburgh-based club. The major force working against them is the rest of their division, as the rest of the pack has more favorable pick hauls compared to the Skunks. The Skunks do have a top three pick though, so they should get a nice player there. It's exciting to see a team that was completely in the mud just a few months ago have life again today.

8. Washington Fantasy Team

WFT are no strangers to entering the draft down picks, as they have made an annual tradition. Another tradition for them: making the playoffs. They are the only team to have made the playoffs in every Super League season. The one advantage they have this season is a nice set of keepers, including Saquon Barkley. If Barkley picks up where he left off last season, Curtis will be able to leverage him into anything he wants, which is scary for everyone else. This probably is the worst draft haul in the league though, so Curtis will once again have to get crafty to get that fifth straight playoff appearance. 

9. For(th)ky Down

Jackson is the one team out of twelve that has done pretty much nothing this offseason. This has not proven to be a great strategy over the years, and especially not with weak keepers. Still, Jackson acquired a couple of extra picks that put him in a better situation in the draft than most, and certainly a vast improvement on what he inherited. He gets the fourth overall pick, which should net him a player better than his current keepers. I have him as third in the division right now, just edging out his new rival Joe for the year. I could see this team getting in the playoff mix or being miserable again this season, but it should result in more wins either way.

10. Need for K1Speed

Joe Gaul has entered the fight, taking over for the Play Action Jackson tandem. His first day on the job involved trading away the franchise cornerstone and former namesake of the team, Lamar Jackson. Daniels is an excellent replacement for Jackson. What was more unexpected was Joe acquiring James Conner with such a high pick. While it's possible Joe can get more trades done, he can't keep all these guys as is. I think there will be an adjustment period for Joe as he enters his first Super League season, and now starting below the stock picks doesn't exactly help. Still, Joe seems willing to take on the challenge, and in his own words, he said he's willing to flop, as long as it's on his own terms. Joe is a huge swing factor this season, but for now I have him bottom three because I have no clue what to expect. 

11. Rubber Buckys

The Buckys have an honest chance at the playoffs this season, but this ranking comes from the knowledge that the team is not looking to trade away any 2026 draft capital (a great decision in my opinion), and due to their less than stellar draft from last season. The team re-acquired Joe Burrow to be a keeper, which is an interesting gamble given the change to one QB moving forward. What gets lost in the disappointing season last year is that it was literally the best season in franchise history. Even if I'm not as high on them today, their path to the franchise's first ever playoffs is actually very simple: draft well and dominate the weaker division.

12. Parma Pirates

The Pirates have been selling early, trading out of the 2025 draft largely, but are the first team to stack up 2026 picks. They have entered a rebuilding stage, and will have to get creative if they want to field a competitive team this season. For 2026, the draft haul is almost rivaling the best from this season already. The two goals for the season: maximize 2026 draft capital and avoid becoming the Skunks at the end of the season. As everyone else is zigging towards the 2025 title, the team formerly known as "The Process" has its eyes on the future.