This one might be controversial. I’m expecting a couple of teams to feel offended. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

 -Commish

12. Need for K1 Speed (📉-2)

Joe came incredibly close to starting the week out 1-0, but it doesn't matter in my eyes. This is one of two Super League teams that have obvious roster issues - with the WR room being non existent in Gaul's case. What brings the karting based team even lower in my eyes is the fact the roster produced (for week 1 standards) outside of the WRs. This could be a near ceiling week for this team, with a lack of depth options to turn to going forward. Joe will need to prove he is a better manager than most believe he has been so far in order to win the division.

11. Parma Pirates (📈+1)

The Pirates had a nice week, putting up a scoring total that would have beat 8 other teams. The problem - they still have no depth, especially at the RB position. You're not going to get 20 from Javonte every week. AJ Brown's stock could not be lower league wide, and Ja'Marr Chase had a slow start. There are some positives here, but I'm not sold on the Pirates being in this scoring tier on a consistent basis.

10. SLATTS SLIMES (📉-3)

The Slimes begin the season 1-0, but only because they edged out the worst scoring team of the week, the Rubber Buckys. Some fans may question how the Slimes could be below the Buckys after beating them in the Taco Bell matchup, but I see a complete multiverse of midness happening on this roster. I think the WR/TE flex is going to be very hard to fill going forward, as this team carries a dynamic duo of aging receivers in Hill and Adams. One thing is clear, Bill will get into the starting lineup sooner than later. I think the Slimes have a lot more in the tank than they showed this week, but need to produce better to gain my full respect.

9. Rubber Buckys (📉-3)

The Buckys lost this week, but they also had the fantasy gods firmly against them with Xavier Worthy being sacrificed by Kelce in the first quarter, and a staggering -7.5 from the defense (it wasn't the brightest start, but still staggering). If even one of those things don't happen, the Buckys start the season 1-0, and probably break 90 points. Joe Burrow isn't going to be playing his arch nemesis Myles Garrett every week, and should produce going forward. I still buy this team as a playoff bubble team, but they certainly need a better performance next week when they begin divisional play.

8. For(th)ky Down (📈+1)

I honestly can't stand this team. They grind my gears for some reason. I'm still mad about the team name, the nick names, and the overall intangibles coming from this squad. But even with this, and them having a pretty mid week, I do see something here. It's a more complete roster than some other teams in the division. A huge week two matchup is forming against GIRTH, one that could have playoff implications down the road. If they can win that, I would move this team up. Jackson's start/sit % will be huge this week, after being second worst in the league in week 1.

7. Washington Fantasy Team (📈+1)

Fantasy team got skunked in week 1, but it wasn't the worst performance ever. There are pieces here that could win games, the challenge will be getting all the right ones on the field each week. We all know that Curtis has about 14 moves to make before his final team, so it's hard to put too much speculation into this roster today. Even given this, if these Jets continue to produce, the Moss division could have a new contender on its hands.

6. Shit Eating Skunks (📈+5)

The Skunks rise five places in the poll after a huge week 1 statement. This team has a very balanced roster on a second look, with quality at every position besides QB possibly. Chase Brown might be a top guy to have this season, and if Harrison Jr can continue to put up weeks like this, I have little doubt that this team will be in the playoff mix. The problem is that Super League is a difficult league, and the Skunks are in a Super Division™️ right now. They immediately have to face The Bridge Road Orcas, who also have a very balanced attack. Winning these divisional games will be crucial to the playoff path for this team, but a win would put Tyler and Stratton into the top 4 on this poll. For now, it should be noted how much better the Skunks are this year. What a job these guys have done to turn around this team.

5. GIRTH (—)

This was not the start the GIRTH were hoping for after having a super sized draft haul coming into the year. Unfortunately for GIRTH, they had a lot of the most notable busts of week 1 all on one team. I expect several of these guys to bounce back, though I do have some worry too - especially about Pacheco. Still, I think the GIRTH team has pieces, and is in the weakest division in Super League right now. The future is still bright for the team to make the playoffs, but they need to get in the win column this week against divisional rival For(th)ky Down (please beat them for me I fucking hate that team).

4. Bona Vista Beer Wolves (📉-3)

Well, well, WELL. The Beer Wolves had the most ammo in franchise history, and they come into week 1 looking like the Cincinnati Bengals, almost losing to a bottom team in the league, just to win on some Mickey Mouse shit at the end. Of course, they're not ranked lowly despite a drop, because I still see a vision with this team. There are a lot of names on this team that should get you excited. They remind me of a Daud ran team in that way. I predicted that their starters would be tested, but I didn't think it would be this quickly. With the amount of depth here, the Beer Wolves are a pure exercise in Start/Sit %, something Noah has been known for in previous years. A huge divisional matchup looms this week, where they have to face the defending champs. Even if they start 0-2, I won't panic, but a win would put them back in the top 2 here.

3. The Bridge Road Orcas (📈+1)

The Orcas start the season with a very solid win against GIRTH, but I think the team left more on the table they could build on in coming weeks. CMC was touching the ball on almost every play for the 49ers despite not getting a TD, Tracey didn't get loose this week but had nice usage, London got a shit ton of looks from Penix, and Henderson will certainly get more carries in future games. The front office has to be pleased with this start, but will be tested next week in a divisional fight for power vs. the Skunks. It will be interesting to see the start/sit decisions this week, with a couple rotation players questionable right now, and some bench pieces looking ready to produce.

2. Zark's Sharks (📈+1)

Josh Allen (and to a lesser extent the rest of the team) went nuclear this week, putting up a top two scoring week. This team has a very balanced and top end attack, and should continue to impress each week. I think it's no secret that the Sharks are the favorites to win the Moss division, but now they appear to be strong title favorites. Week two will feature a more fitting test for the team, as they face the step-bro led WFT. I would put the bank account on this team making the playoffs again, lead by the GOAT QB in league history, a RB1 who should explode in coming weeks, and a stellar supporting cast.

1. Sacks in the City (📈+1)

The defending champs find themselves at number one in the poll, a rare feat for any team in league history. Nathan's decision to hold the 2025 picks has skyrocketed his chances this year, and betting on his Ravens really paid off in week one. If the Sacks can win in week two against the Beer Wolves, they will be the undoubted number 1 for weeks to come. Like I've said of the Sharks, you could bet everything on this team playing in the playoffs. If there's one weakness here, it's the WR room. I could see it being hard to play the right guys at those spots each week, but if Bijan and King Henry keep running like this, it literally won't matter. Sacks in the City start off the year looking to add another ring to their trophy case.