-Commish 

Shit Teams 

12.Need for K1 Speed (📉-1)

The Gaul led team has been a sad group so far. Not only has the production not been there on the field, the front office has been extremely questionable so far. In the off-season, Joe traded Lamar for Daniels, his first round pick, Daniels and two picks for Saquon, and various other picks for players he never ended up keeping, as well as attempting to trade future picks. He assured the council that he had a plan. To give Joe some credit, he did make one good trade, getting off Conner with Javonte joining K1. But then this past week, he tries to trade Josh Jacobs in a 3 for 1. I no longer see a plan, and I fear that Gaul has turned what was a top contender last year, with a full set of picks, into a toilet bowl team. 0-3 is a major hole that I don't think he will be able to navigate out of. If he can't get some wins on the board, he should be looking to make some moves to get picks back in November.

11.Washington Fantasy Team (📈+1)

I'm tentative to shit on Fantasy Team, given their consistent track record in being able to navigate this situation, but I'm not seeing the major moves this team can make to get back into the mix, especially with 3 straight wins needed to get back to 500. WFT lost to divisional rival Pirates, who were projected to be the bottom feeder of the division. In fact, WFT would be 0-3 vs the Pirates across the weeks so far. Jayden Daniels will need to get healthy and perform for this team to feel good again. While the team has been shit, JT is a huge bright spot, but not enough to help this team get a win yet.

10.Rubber Buckys (📉-2)

The Buckys have had an up and down season so far, and are the only team in the Shit tier that has won so far. The problem is the Bucky's rank dead last in scoring so far. Michael Pittman has actually been a bright spot so far, which tells you a lot about this team. I can't really hate on Jacob from a management standpoint, as he has been vocal about not moving future assets for this team, and he worked with the limited draft assets he had. I think this team is a step above 12 & 11 right now, but still shitty overall. They have a shit tier matchup with Need for K1 Speed this week, which could be a next opportunity to get back to even.

Spoiler Teams

9.For(th)ky Down (📈+1)

Now here's a team that has some juice to it. I considered putting this team higher, but they did just get their first win of the season. Jackson's team has been solid this season, and has been getting stronger and stronger thus far. Jackson would have beaten many of the top ranked teams if matched up this week, mainly due to James Cook's dominance and JSN, Pollard, and Smith all contributing nice weeks. He even had some bench pieces have nice weeks. It would be interesting to see this team make some trades, but overall, I think this squad has improved a lot over the last year. I even respect Jackson as a manager now. For now, this team is simply playing spoiler, but could be on my short list for 2026 teams.

8.Parma Pirates (📈+1)

Parma has been one of the surprise teams of the season, as many assumed they would be the worst team in the league all year. They flipped that narrative officially this week, by getting a 30 point win and the second highest point total of the week. The Pirates have the highest point total in the Moss division right now, even over the Sharks. There is a downside coming though: the injury bug has come to Parma. James Conner is done for the year, CeeDee Lamb will miss time, and Ja'Marr Chase's QB situation has gotten a lot worse due to injury. This was already one of the thinnest teams in the league, so it's possible this ends up becoming a shit team in the coming weeks. Parma has a chance to put the whole league on notice by coming into Bona Vista and putting down that damn dog.

Real Teams

7.SLATT'S SLIMES (📉-1)

The Slimes lost control of the Gonzalez division this week, ceding control to the up and coming GIRTH franchise. This was the Slimes' first loss of the season, so they are very much still in the hunt for a divisional title or an at-large playoff berth. They have a chance to get ahead in both this week, with a matchup against a similarly skilled Skunks team, and with GIRTH facing off against the Sharks. A win this week would be massive. Jeanty has not lived up to 1.01 pick standards with his stats, but I actually think he will be an incredibly successful RB in his career. The question for the Slimes is if the Raiders can block for him better going forward. There's so much boom or bust here, but I consider the Slimes a real team.

6.Shit Eating Skunks (📉-3)

The Skunks cooled down a bit this week, and showed that their floor can be low. However, this was an expected loss if there ever is one, as the Skunks faced the defending champs. Marvin Harrison is proving to be a Kyle Pitts type so far in his NFL career, which could be hard to manage going forward. Chase Brown and Zay Flowers should both score more than this going forward though, so I don't think this is a normal week for the team. The lineup decisions will need to be right for this week's matchup vs the Slimes, who are also 2-1 and playoff hopefuls. A three place drop is kind of harsh for how good this team has been, but that's just Super League this year. All of these teams are real, and will all have their weeks.

5.The Bridge Road Orcas (📈+2)

The Orcas just won their most important game as a manager duo, taking down Bona Vista for the first time this season, and tying up the Johnson division fully in the process. The Orcas have been up and down in this poll, but I do think they have what it takes to be a playoff team. Brock Bowers hasn't had an explosion yet this year, but if he ever gets going, it would add a new level to this team. For now, they live and die by CMC, with everyone else pitching in nice but un-flashy production. Living and dying by CMC isn't the worst way to live (or die). They have a must win in week 4, where they need to capitalize on a weak WFT to keep up with their division which isn't slowing down any time soon.

4.Bona Vista Beer Wolves (📉-3)

This now makes the second week out of three that the Beer Wolves failed to reach the 120 mark, and this time it cost them, as they lost to the Orcas. After declaring they weren't afraid of any team but the Skunks, they now sit in a completely deadlocked division. AJ Brown got back on the right foot this week, but BTJ did not. Tre Tucker absolutely went off, but he was on the bench, and it would be hard to justify starting him. Achane put up the exact same score as Jaylen Warren, as Ollie Gordon began to come on for the Dolphins. None of these things paint the picture of stability that this team has been billed as since the start of the year, but you can't deny that this much depth should contribute to more wins when BYE weeks and injuries pile up. The Beer Wolves should bounce back this week as they face a battered Pirates team. One thing is clear: this team is not the 16-0 Penguins.

3.GIRTH (📈+2)

GIRTH showed up big in week three, taking home the divisional lead behind a league best scoring outburst. It turns out having Puka on your team is a huge positive in 2025. Hampton got it going, K9 got multiple TDs, Nico had huge volume, Juwan continued his run, and Truly's guy Rome Odunze looks like a real breakout candidate. It also looks like bench piece Judkins could become a major player for this team. This week showed what this team is capable of, and is the first week they've really looked like they had the second best pick situation this year (mainly due to Hampton's play). GIRTH is a serious title contender, and I think they are a bit stronger than the Beer Wolves right now. Truly's prize for all this? A meeting with the Sharks in week four. This should be an epic Taco Bell Matchup.

2.Sacks In the City (—)

Sacks in the City continues to deliver high quality teams year after year. As the top scoring member of the highly contested Johnson division, both this week and across all three, I have to put the defending champs above the rest of the division. Derrick Henry has had a rough couple of weeks, but I expect him to get back on track soon. Andrews finally broke loose, Dobbins is shockingly viable, and now Benson could become a top RB choice or trade candidate. There are some weak links here, especially amongst the receiver and TE groups, but Sacks has always been about its run game and QB play, and they excel here once again. The defending champs will look to continue their campaign by facing spoiler candidate For(th)ky Down this week.

1.Zark's Sharks (📈+3)

It has been smooth sailing for the Sharks so far, being the only team not to drop a game yet. While the Sharks competition has not been up to par with the rest of the league, being the only undefeated team is the strongest position a team can have through the first three weeks. The Moss division feels like a formality at this point. The stars for the Sharks are well known - Gibbs, McBride, and Allen, and for good reason. This is probably the strongest big three in the league. But it's the other pieces that could see the Sharks back in peak contention - Mason, Skattebo, Egbuka. A BYE spot is the Sharks to lose.