Sometimes you just gotta put the guy(s) who scored the least amount of points in last. What was looking like a sure fire win turned into disaster. The Beer Wolves watched in agony as Bo Nix brought shame to the entire town of Bona Vista with 3 fumbles in the clutch. To add insult to injury, it was Noah’s guy Mahomes that had a solid night on the BV Beer bench while Noah bet big on Bo. Even tho BV comes in last today, I do think this team has a good chance to rise closer to the middle in the rankings, but losing your only matchup with the Sharks already hurts the playoff odds. Not true panic mode yet, especially given there is some optimization that can be done on the starting lineup. At least Johnson was getting active.

I feel pretty good about my initial assessment of the Sharks. Week 1 wasn’t pretty, but a win’s a win. Loveland with the goose egg was brutal, but Vele’s big day kinda made up for it. There were a few picks that look more interesting today, but I still think more time is needed to know how good this Shark’s depth really is. What’s for certain is when Gibbs runs like this, the Sharks have a chance to win the matchup. Next the Sharks take on WFT in an early season Step Bro Bowl. Winning that could change the entire narrative of the season. It’s a little scary to think about.

Joe started off his year with a solid scoring effort in a close loss to the Dikes. Joe was the only division member of the Johnson division to not get in on the winning this week, which puts him one step behind for now. The bright spot for K1 Speed is that multiple guys popped, including a couple of interesting bench guys in Harvey and Meyers. If Harvey continues returning kicks and getting offensive attention, he could become a must start easily. Sutton really let the team down unfortunately or this could have been an early win for the squad. Joe has done a decent job so far this season, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he did win this week in his first divisional action vs the Slimes. I don’t know if UK has Taco Bell, but it is the Taco Bell matchup.

The Skunks took an L in their first action of the season, with several guys on the roster failing to meet expectations. The nice thing for the Skunks is that the starting RBs brought the energy, and Bucky had his most promising game in a long while. It was pretty much everyone else besides Jettas and those RBs that let down the team this week, and it still would have been close if Isaiah Likely didn’t pop off like he did. A couple options on the bench emerged with scoring debuts in the teens, which will create some tough decisions headed into the first divisional matchup of the season. The Skunks are in a way better place than they were last year, and I will be forced to move them up if they beat me this week.

Given the failure of the week 1 performance and everyone left on this list heavily outperforming the Pirates, I have no choice but to drop myself all the way down here. It was very similar to what happened to the Rams this week (the defense started for the Pirates), with everyone thinking they were going to be dominant, and then coming out looking like shit. Basically no one lived up to expectations other than Turpin and Parker Washington. Ceedee was also good. Outside of that, a bunch of flops really. The good news for this team is that this is probably the floor for this team when healthy. I can’t imagine this big 4 averaging less than 10 a piece for many matchups, or all of them failing to reach 20 in a week when they all play again. For the RBs, Saquon and CMC were at least effective rushers, which is a good sign. This loss turns week 2 into a must win with Shit Eating Skunks coming to town for the first time. Overall I still think this team will make the playoffs, or the people of Parma will be asking for Cook’s job.

What a start for the Dikes. The team over performed expectations behind a monster game from Coker, Dart, and strong running from Taylor. The namesake keeper of the team, Dike, had a pretty horrible game, which would have been his second worst for all of last year, and sealed it with a fumble. I think it’s more likely than not that Dike gets back on the right track returning, given the special teams prowess that the Titans are known for. The question for the Dikes becomes is Dike worth the starting spot every week? Wicks, Hockenson, and Brian Robinson with return yards all could be in the mix to take that spot if Dike doesn’t straighten out. Next up is a matchup with the defending champs, who beat this team in the playoffs last season. If the Dikes take this one, then they are absolutely in the mix for a divisional title. This team continues to get better since losing the toilet bowl in 2024.

This team was firing on all cylinders on Sunday, but thanks to Josh Allen, Swift, and Goedert, they come up a little short. You could argue this team should be placed higher given it’s the back to back champions that just scored 30 points over projections, but honestly this feels like Sacks in the City’s ceiling. Yes, the three headed monster of Lamar, Bijan, and DHen is potent, but not even they will be able to average 30 a piece all season. Deebo is a very interesting piece as he had receiving volume and returning success, but I don’t expect him to be dropping 25 every week. A lot of the returning options Nathan had on his bench didn’t really hit, and it’s looking like betting on returning yards will be hard to nail down in the starting lineup. This team popping should terrify everyone, but I need to see them get in the win column this week vs the Dikes to fully be back on this train. If nothing else, Nathan’s trade ammo just got better, which is a scary proposition for this team’s future.

Wow, I was very wrong about this team in the week 1 power rankings. Mainly, I owe an apology to Swift, who I said wouldn’t return first round value, and he starts the season on fire, and more than delivering on his draft position based on week 1. This team left some meat on the bone this week is the crazy thing, with Puka and Hampton having below average games from what we expected. If you can get Josh Allen and Puka rolling in the same week, this provides an incredible floor and a big ceiling. Still, I have to question GIRTH’s depth. The bench was not looking great this week, outside of a Cleveland Brown. I would still bet that this team is a toilet bowl team, especially with this division looking testy, but for now, GIRTH is back up the list.

The Slimes put the league on Slime Watch by taking down the Pirates. The only thing about that was the Pirates imploded, and the Slimes produced the 7th best score of the week, while divisional rivals GIRTH and For(th)ky Down kept pace in the wins column and dropped 160+. It’s a big win but it’s a small win at the same time. I can’t put the Slimes over the other teams in the top 3 on this list this week, so unfortunately they move down a spot from week 1. The Taco Bell belt remains with the Slimes as they take on Need for K1 Speed in the first divisional action of the year. This is a borderline must win for the Slimes with the division shaping up to be a real fight this year. The great news for Sam is that it looks like there’s multiple bench options to choose from between Nabers return and Monangai’s big day. Sam is a caring and passionate guy who would die trying to win the Super League championship.

The Orcas started the season off the right way, sticking it to Curry and Austin with big performances from Lawrence, Jeanty, and Likely. I think the Orcas did an excellent job prioritizing TEs this year between Likely, Andrews, and Bowers who didn’t even suit up this week. If Bowers is back for week 2, this team is super dangerous and should be considered the favorite in the division in my opinion. There will be start/sit decisions that will be difficult, especially given how Waddle performed, but overall, I’m feeling very good about the Orcas chances of making the playoffs this year. People forget that Jack has won Super League before, and another ring is in reach this season.

Fantasy Team lost their matchup behind some crazy Monday Night Agony action, which was disappointing. Both the Pirates and WFT start the year 0-1, but the way the Fantasy Team lost far exceeds the Pirates effort. Losing AJ Brown for the first few weeks hurts, but having such a solid core outside of him should let the team survive until he’s back. McBride is going to be such a problem this season. Montgomery got a lot of nice opportunities this week, and if that holds then this team will be scoring big every week. Curtis is a top manager with a top team, this should equal post season success despite the early loss. Beating the Sharks this week is very important to a divisional title. This team drops a game but they don’t drop in the rankings.

No one expected For(th)ky Down to command the #1 spot in the power rankings by week 2, but here we are. This team has crazy ceilings, and we saw that this week when they took home the highest score of the week. I said last week that when this team is healthy, they are very scary, and with K9 popping off like he did, I’m pretty scared. Flowers was looking dominant before getting hurt, but good news for the Forky based franchise is that Flowers appears to be good to go for week 2. JSN is a beast, Washington looks somewhat viable, and Henderson should be a strong favorite to win the Patriots backfield with how bad Rhamondre looked in week 1. This team is the definition of motion after one week. The main threat here is health. If this team can keep themselves healthy, they are the single most dangerous team in the field.